Passion vs. Purpose
As I’ve shared previously, this journal started as a way to get my château thoughts OUT of my head so they could live in the universe, so I wouldn’t feel like a rat on a wheel thinking the same things over and over again. So while sitting in a dentist's chair, I tried to start a practice of guiding my thoughts. I focused on the château and allowed my mind to be carried away - it was lovely. At the forefront of my mind was the visa process; I wondered how certain chatelains that I follow did it (I will be emailing them just emailed them AND they responded and I’m on cloud 9). Then my thoughts moved towards thinking about the pull for me to live in France. I’ve been thinking for the longest time that it is my passion. I don’t know how to explain it succinctly, but passion feels almost frivolous; it doesn’t feel like it holds the weight that I feel. So what is it then? Well, while sitting in this dentist chair, I realized - it isn’t passion, it is purpose. I feel this - moving to France and restoring a château - is truly my purpose. I can see the links that started back in 2007 when I saw Biltmore Estate for the first time (or perhaps even before that when I would run my hands along the banister at my grandmother’s house and think about the past) all the way through to the present day while I’m working on upholstery projects or scrubbing floors or scouring for the perfect vintage find. Sure, these current day musings are deliberate but its because I feel driven to make this reverie a reality.
This realization reminded me of a podcast I listened to a few months back with my favorite chatelaine, Karina Waters of Chateau de Gudanes. I listened to The Limitless Podcast earlier this summer and remembered something Karina mentioned. Right around min 23 (22:53 to be exact), Karina states: “I find that in this {sic} type of project, it isn’t really purpose and dreams and passion…is not what it is about. It’s really, at the core of it, is work. It’s about joining up with something that you feel is really love and that love is really visible.”
When I was thinking back on this podcast, I didn’t realize Karina stated “purpose” alongside passion and dreams. So while I thought this episode was more of an affirmation of my newfound realization, I actually found myself becoming defensive while writing this post and relistening to the episode - so much so that there have been a few rewrites to this post. But what this taught me (with the help of my level-headed and positive husband) is that everyone’s experience and drive comes from a different place; everyone has their own values. I agree with Karina that I think you need MORE than just dreams, passion, and purpose to live the life of a custodian of a château. There is such an incredible amount of work. When the days are hard, long, expensive, and unforgiving, you have to fall back on the work. The work must continue. You must have discipline. Passion will wane. Dreams will fade. Purpose might seem to be lost in the challenges that surround us in today’s world, but having the discipline to continue through the hard times is the only way to reignite those passions and dreams and purpose.
I think that’s it, I might be on the right track.
Continuing restoration work at Chateau de Gudanes in the Salon de Printemps and the credit card-sized section I worked on. July 2019
In looking for the above podcast, I came across The Good Life France’s podcast ( that Karina spoke on which was my background while I wrote this post. Its a great listen.
This post took almost a month to write. I started it on Oct 22 and hit publish on Nov 19. What a testament to this topic.
