Vulnerability

My intentions for this blog are 100% personal. But being a prior business owner and creative who felt like their business survived solely through the means of social media (when in fact, very little was tied to social media), it has been a genuine struggle to keep this blog just for myself. Just like I daydream about France and our lives in a château, I also dream of this blog becoming its own entity with quippy writings, beautiful photos, and ideas that resonate with others. So much so that a small following exists. Or maybe a big following.

But with those ideas comes the dreaded and immense amount of self-doubt. Pulling these thoughts from the innermost corners of my mind and putting them out into “the internet” is giving breath to them. This has been a step I’ve wanted to take for a year or so, but didn’t truly feel like I had the bandwidth until recently. But as of now, these meanderings are my own. No one else is reading these; well, with the exception of my incredibly supportive co-daydreamer/husband - and let me say, I was hesitant to even share it with him (sorry goo). All because of failure. What if I stop writing? What if no one cares about this blog and it’s just a deep void of my thoughts? What if the daydream never comes to fruition?

If I’m being honest with myself, these are all equally terrifying to me. I can see my deepest fears in each of these questions. Lack of self-discipline, low self-worth and the belief that I am not thought of, and failure. Ooph. Maybe this blog will be a form of therapy in addition to an escape into my daydreams.

My first (and only) photo in front of Eiffel Tower, Paris. May 2013, Film.